17 years of hope: One mother’s journey to welcoming her daughter

Tope Fajingbesi is living her best life as a mom, sharing laughs, memories and travel adventures to Nigeria with her daughter Remi.

It’s a dream come true, but certainly not one that happened overnight. Her journey to motherhood was fraught with heartbreak and disappointment as, over the course of 17 years, Tope underwent four IVF treatments and suffered nine miscarriages.

“It was really hard,” she says.

However, thanks to her faith and the care team at Holy Cross Hospital, there was finally life after nearly two decades of loss.

In 2024, the success of yet another IVF treatment seemed bleak. At Tope’s 12-week appointment to check on the status of twins, a boy and girl, she received more devastating news. The boy was gone due to vanishing twin syndrome, which occurs after an early embryo or fetus stops developing and is reabsorbed by the mother, placenta or surviving twin.

At that point, a twofold mission took form: Get baby girl Remi to at least 500 grams for her best chance of survival and then welcome her safely into the world.

Tope will never forget Sept. 3, 2024. Twenty-five weeks pregnant, with Remi in the first percentile, she was admitted to the hospital under the care of Barbara Jean Butler, MD, obstetrics & gynecology. Though understandably nervous at first, her stress was quickly eased.

“We get to the OR. There are about 40 people in there. One woman comes to me, holds me by the shoulder and says, ‘I’m the anesthesiologist. I will take care of you. You’re going to be fine’,” recalls Tope. “And I just became calm.”

Weighing in at 760 grams, Remi was born without incident. After so much hardship in her journey to motherhood, Tope finally had her little girl.

“We get to the OR. There are about 40 people in there. One woman comes to me, holds me by the shoulder and says, ‘I’m the anesthesiologist. I will take care of you. You’re going to be fine’. And I just became calm.” – Tope Fajingbesi

The next nine weeks could’ve been very difficult. Every single day, Tope drove for over an hour to visit Remi in the NICU from 4 to 6 p.m. before making the trek back home. But according to Tope, the doctors and nurses at Holy Cross made it all feel easy. They helped her hold and bond with Remi, even getting to know Tope on a personal level. A deep sense of trust was formed.

“I saw family in these nurses,” she says.

All the while, Remi was thriving. Tiny but feisty, she made steady progress until she was eventually able to go home.

Remi is now two years old. She’s happy and active, with a particular affinity for climbing. And Tope couldn’t be more grateful for her beautiful dream come true.

“‘Omo wa Remilekun’ is a Yoruba word which means ‘God has dried my tears’. But Remi, for me, means the end of my tears,” says Tope. “If you’re a parent and you’ve been told that your baby is going to be in the NICU at Holy Cross, you are in good hands.”

“‘Omo wa Remilekun’ is a Yoruba word which means ‘God has dried my tears’. But Remi, for me, means the end of my tears. If you’re a parent and you’ve been told that your baby is going to be in the NICU at Holy Cross, you are in good hands.” – Tope Fajingbesi

Visit Women’s Healthcare for more information on women’s health services at Holy Cross Health and to make an appointment.